The Tense Taurus

First thing yesterday morning I woke up to a plate of over easy eggs, sliced avocado, toast and a cup of coffee brought to me by the pilot. A wonderful way to wake up except that I had a huge pain in my neck. I called a massage therapist to schedule an appointment to take care of the pain. As I was sitting with my therapist she explained that since I was a Taurus I keep all of my tension and stress in my neck. I started to wonder what exactly could I be stressed about. Did I mention the breakfast in bed? When I arrived I had no idea what my therapist would look like, I think we all imagine that some hot person is going to be touching us. Not the case, this was an older woman probably in her 60's, far from hot. But once I closed my eyes and she started to work those magic hands I didn't care anymore. She certainly worked out the pain I had in my neck.
Once I got home I was curious what other traits Taurus possess.

Taurus Likes:
permanency, stability, luxury, comfort, pleasure and good food

How did I not know this stuff? This is totally me, I love comfort, pleasure & food. But wait a minute, who doesn't? I can't imagine somebody telling me they like to be uncomfortable, in pain and starving.

Taurus Dislikes:

disruption, being rushed, being indoors, being pushed too hard and any break in routine

I will agree that I don't like when somebody disrupts my sleep or a good TV show I'm watching. I do like to take my time. I have mentioned I'm not goal oriented, so I would agree with the dislikes. My motto is have low expectations that way you won't be disappointed. 

Enjoy the Labor Day weekend and maybe check out your sign, it might be more accurate than you think...

All Dogs go to Heaven, but sometimes they come back

We recently lost our two dogs, they were 15 and 16 years old. The pilot has been researching like a mad man on how to train a puppy correctly (he wants another dog). Turns out we did everything wrong. Lets take a look at just a couple things the pilot sent me on the "do's" of how to train a dog.

1. No table scraps should be fed to the dogs during a meal - I don't understand they really like steak
2. If a dog is lying in your path, do not walk around the dog, either make the dog move or step over the dog - the easier thing to do is walk around, just saying
3. Ideally, dogs should not sleep in your bed - when they were puppies they were very cute and that is how they both ended up in our bed
4. Feedings must be at a scheduled time, no self-feeding. - Leaving the bowl down with food is more convenient, for me of course

We had to tell D-boy that the dogs got sick and were not coming home. This was no easy task, I started out by saying they were very sick and they went to Heaven to feel all better.  His response was "So, Jesus will make them all better, then they become puppies and come back to earth". At the time I thought that was cute and I was trying to avoid any tears, so I agreed. It sounded good to me and I thought we would all sleep better that night. Well, it didn't work like I thought it would. 2 days later D-boy woke up and asked me where the dogs were? I was confused since I thought I had clearly explained they were in Heaven. I forgot about the part where they were supposed to become puppies and come back to earth.....

Happy Thoughts Wednesday

Once a week I will take a break from the sarcasm (cuz we all need a break sometimes), and post Happy thoughts. Or at least talk about the simple things in life that truly make me happy.
I love when I'm having a not so great day and D-boy says "Mommy, I love you, your the best mommy". Yes my heart melts every time. I love the beach, any time I can get to one my favorite moment is digging my toes in the sand. And the sound of the ocean as the waves crash against the shore. Watching the Pilot and D-boy build sand castles and tunnels. I love when the pilot comes home from a trip and D-boy and I sit by the window to watch him pull in the driveway. Both of us anxious to give the pilot the first hug.
Having a glass of wine (or two) with a friend while we catch up. Finding the perfect brownies, not too cakey and not too fudgy. I have to say Boston Market has perfected the mix, I however have not.  Driving through the mountains in September when the Aspens are golden (which is coming up in a couple weeks). Talking on the phone with my sister-n-law for over an hour and my cheeks hurting because I've laughed almost the entire time. Discovering a new TV show that I can't seem to live without (currently it's Game of Thrones). Buying that perfect birthday gift that you know will put a smile on their face. A song that can bring you back to a moment that you wish you could remember forever.

Happy Quote of the Day
"Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened" -- Dr. Seuss 

Weight Loss, not today

Google Weight Loss and a million and one sights will pop up for your viewing pleasure. There is no surgery weight loss, foods you must not eat, weight loss products, weight loss programs, weight control, the list goes on and on. The truth is I know how to lose weight, I have to burn more calories then I consume. Which means exercise and eat healthy. However the moment I start to think about losing weight, I also think about buffalo chicken sandwiches, fries with ranch dip, beer, wine, bacon, more bacon, brownies, peach cobbler with vanilla ice cream, this list could go on and on. Its not that I eat these types of foods all the time, I just can't imagine my life forever without them. Did I mention I love food??
The pilot is 160 lbs, 6 feet tall and almost zero body fat. Which I love and hate at the same time. After a typical bike ride for him, he tells me he has burned 3000 calories. I was just hoping not to eat that many today. He inherited the greatest gift of all, high metabolism. I pray every day that D-boy received this gift as well. If not he is going to struggle like me but luckily our family stays active.
Why is it so difficult for some of us to lose one pound and those fabulous skinny bitches (who eat the way I want to) get to eat anything they want without it being added directly to their butts or thighs?? No wonder women are so mean to each other, we are starving ourselves and when we see skinny women we want to punch them and steal that big mac they have in their hand.
Well I'll keep running and remembering that the more calories I burn, the more I can eat, mmmmmmmmm brownie......

Mom, no application needed

Luckily for me I didn't have to "apply" to become a stay at home mom. I know the pilot wouldn't have hired me based on my resume.
Do I cook? nope
Do I clean? nope
Am I goal oriented? nope
Can I garden or plant? nope
Good at crafts? nope
So lets break this down, its not that I don't cook I'd just prefer to eat something somebody else cooked. Last night d-boy and I feasted on ramen noodles. Cleaning, its not that I can't, but its usually half-assed. Our house stays clean with the rumba the pilot purchased and there is only 3 of us. I have to mention I paid the pilot one time $20 to clean my bathroom. Ironic since its "our" money :-) Goal-oriented, well my latest goals were to get out of bed before 9 am and exercise. One day I woke up at 8:45 am, ran 3 miles and I made lemon bars. Decided I needed at least 2 days to recover. Garden or plant, on this one I'm going to blame my parents. Our punishment growing up was to pull weeds. I'm not a fan of working in the yard in any capacity. I mowed the lawn once last year and I took pictures so I could brag to all my friends. Crafts makes me crazy, I swear when I walk into a craft store I immediately can't breathe, the hives start and I feel the walls closing in around me. I started a quilting and drinking night with a friend last year. Let's just say the quilt is unfinished and I learned alot about different beers I enjoy.
My only qualification is I make my family laugh. And d-boy tells me I'm his favorite mommy. Thank goodness I'm his only one.
The weekend is upon us and this mommy doesn't work on the weekends, soooo I will "see" you guys first thing Monday morning. After 9 am of course.....

The Bachelorette, my new best friend

Put anyone in a room with 25 men and of course you will pick one you like the most. Add to the mix romantic settings at every turn and you've got all the ingredients to fall in love. In the real world if a woman was making out with this many men she'd be a back stabbing whore (just saying). However in this situation she is so sweet and you feel for her plight. Poor thing has so many men to choose from, how will she decide.
All that being said I get hooked every season and I like the people around me to watch as well. This is the only drama I really have in my life and I want others to discuss this poor woman's life with me. For some reason I think this bachelorette is my new best friend, I want her dates to be great and I want to give her advice. Like "hey that guy is lame, let him go, he told you to basically shut up". What? You kept him another week didn't you hear me, its time for him to go home. I want her to find her prince charming. It all leads up to that special episode when 2 lucky guys get to ask her to marry them. This truly is riveting TV, and reality of course because everyone falls in love in 4 weeks, right?? And the boys can't be jealous that she is falling in love with more than one person. Do you think this show would ever lead to brother husbands? Why not, TLC has sister wives. Anyway, at the end of this emotional roller coaster after the proposal the couple doesn't see each other for 3 months. So for 3 months the lucky winner gets to watch his beautiful, loving fiance make out with other men. And we wonder why none of these relationships last. But who wants to see or think about after the happily every after. What do you mean it didn't work out, they fell madly in love after 6 weeks!!
After the rose ceremony always has a room full of women who feel just like me, I can see in their faces as they watch that moment the guy proposes. As women we've come so far but we still want to see prince charming win the princess. But truly all this really is, is a fairy tale.
Well when the next Bachelorette airs on TV, I will be there for her, giving advice and hoping that at the end of the season that special guy proposes. After that, I move on with my life and anxiously wait the next season....

First Day of School, Maybe

Monday August 20th, first day of kindergarten. Or so we thought, the Pilot and I were very excited to take our d-boy to school. We packed his lunch and his back pack, new clothes, and all 3 of us happily walked 2 blocks to school. Once we arrived the school bell rang however the area where we were wasn't very full. That should've been our first clue. Then the teacher opened the door after the bell and all the parents & kids walked in.  Good sign, I noticed the other kids had pillows, and of course we had forgot d-boy's, so I ran home to get his pillow.
When I returned the parents were still in the class room and kids were dumping off the communal kids supplies. As the pilot and I were sitting on the floor I started to see parents leaving.....with their children. "WHAT???" I thought today was the first day of school. To our dismay we were told this was only an open house. As we told our little precious d-boy, I thought he was going to cry. I wanted to tell him, Honey we feel the exact same way. I was looking forward to the mommy and daddy time I was supposed to have today. At this point asking our new son's teacher to "watch" him till open house was done was probably out of the question. All 3 of us left the classroom with our heads down and sad faces.
New plan, I called the neighbor to watch our d-boy so we could go out to breakfast. Not exactly what I had in mind but our mommy & daddy time would have to wait till Tuesday.
I don't want to leave out the wonderful parents we judged when we went to school. I have to mention that right before we walked to the school I had run 2 miles and not had my coffee yet. A very energetic couple was in my face shaking my hand and telling me their names. Well Rich and Neda (not really sure if these were their names), I haven't had coffee and I'm sweaty so back away. I was thinking as they were shaking my hand that I will have to avoid them tomorrow.
I will end this blog today by saying the way I like to meet someone is to feel like we are in the middle of a conversation. So hopefully this first glimpse into my life feels just like that...