Beautiful

I think that Keira Knightley is one of the most beautiful women in the world. I believe I've watched almost every movie that she has been in. She doesn't seem too flashy to me and most pictures I found she didn't seem to be wearing a ton of makeup.
About 6 months ago I decided not to buy any new make up until I was completely finished with the make up I have in my bathroom. It's difficult when I get Ulta emails daily with the newest trends and coupons. But so far I've stayed true to my commitment. This made me wonder how many women out there have tons and tons of make up they never use? I looked up some statistics and women spend an average of $13,000 in a lifetime on makeup. The survey also stated 70% of women won't leave the house without makeup. One in 5 women stated there boyfriends have never seen them without makeup, even in bed.
What are we afraid of? Don't get me wrong I wear makeup and I try to make it as natural as possible. Its been easier since I left my job to be ok with going out without any on. I want to feel beautiful too but make up isn't going to do that for me. What makes me feel beautiful is when my friend calls me a sweetheart because I volunteered to watch her boys. Or when a friend tells me she cried because I sent her a thoughtful card. Even when my son says "Mommy, your beautiful", right when I've gotten out of bed with no make up and my hair looks like Medusa. I want my character to be beautiful, I want people to describe me as caring, loving, and fun.
What do you find beautiful?

Cleaning out the Junk

This picture literally grosses me out. Today we went to the store and loaded up on fruits and veggies. I actually made vegan ranch dressing. My breakfast was steel cut oats with almonds, strawberries and blueberries. It was delicious, the pilot made it before I got out of bed. I've traded my coffee for tea, that won't be as difficult to give up since I only drink one cup of coffee a day. And I usually dump the last couple sips of it in the sink. Lunch was a veggie burger on top of a salad of greens, tomato, and avocado with my home made dressing and an apple. I also did an hour on the elliptical.
On Sunday I cleaned out my closet, I put away the cute summer outfits and started a bag of clothes to take to goodwill. The pilot just started cleaning out our cupboards of any bad food so we aren't tempted to eat it.
This made me think, what other junk do I have in my life? Negative thoughts, was the first thing I could think of, how about you?

Live to Eat

If you haven't noticed from any of my previous posts, I love food.  I don't like diets because they seem to always restrict the things I love the most. Like sugar and carbs. The pilot just recently purchased this book Eat to Live. I thought I had finally come to the conclusion that I was fine with my body and my weight, until a couple days ago the pilot mentions he just happened to have lost 5 pounds. I asked him how and he had no idea. Really how is this fair?? AND I have to mention that he is only weighs a few pounds more than me and is 6 inches taller. This was my setback, all that positive self talk went out the window. I have asked him not to tell me anymore how much he weighs.
Which leads me to finally making a change. I have no excuses, no job that is keeping me busy. I know deep down I'm just lazy. Does anyone really admit to that? I want what's easy and I want to eat when I'm hungry.
My friend told me yesterday that it takes at least 6 months for our bodies to adapt to change and for us to see a difference. What the??? Great I have no patience, I want it to happen over night. So here it is, I'm going to start tomorrow which is Tuesday. Or maybe I'll start Thursday after the Halloween party on Wednesday. Ok, I'm lazy and I have no willpower. I've asked the pilot to help me so we will see how that goes. Did I mention he is out of town quite a bit?? Ok back to one day at a time, I'll let you know how it goes....

Saturday

I certainly didn't think when I was younger that a fun Saturday night would be listening to my son and his 2 friends chat with each other.  I will refer to the one that is his same age as the negotiator. The negotiator has been an expert at not eating dinner, he will give every excuse possible to get away from the table to go play. I took this on as a challenge of course, this little one was going to eat his dinner and I was going to win. The first curve ball is he tells me he is full, ok well he has had 4 bites of his dinner so I know this isn't true. The next one is "I don't eat crust". I have to mention he just told me 45 minutes prior that he loved crust. I told him that he couldn't leave the table until he was done with dinner. Next one, the sauce is now cold. I solved this one by re-heating his food in the microwave. Last try was "I have to go to the bathroom". This one I don't mess with, I let him go but he did know that he still had to finish his dinner when he was done. It only took 45 minutes but this little boy finished his dinner, I WIN!!!! Really.... this is my Saturday evening, getting excited that I won in a "fight" with a 5 year old.....

Where was it?

Sunday morning as I was ironing my dress, my puppy decided to chew something of mine. When I walked in my room I saw that he was chewing on my over-priced Victoria Secret bra. At least I know he has good taste. I wasn't incredibly upset by any means, but he had been doing so well not chewing on our stuff. He likes shoelaces and occasionally will grab one of D-boy's toys. Since I was a little bummed I decided to send a text to the pilot. I simply said the puppy ate one of my bras, awesome. His response was "Where was it?" I knew exactly what he meant and I'm not sure why he even asked the question. He should've just said "Jody, if your bra was on the floor it is your fault the dog chewed your $45 bra". I should've known to send the text to one of my girlfriends, because they would have the response I was looking for, something like "That really sucks but now you get to go to Victoria Secret and shop for a new bra". The very next day I received a coupon in my email for $15 off of 2 bras, so I guess it was time for me to get some new ones. Also I'm waiting to send that text that says "The dog ate your shoe" and when he asks me where was the shoe, I will simply reply "It was on the floor".....

If only I looked like that..

I think sometimes we can be our own worst critics. It seems every time I get back into working out I want to see results asap. If I've done a body pump class when I get home I should have rock hard abs, my biceps should be like Madonna's, and my figure should be perfect. If these results don't happen soon enough for me then I quit. Because why am I putting all the effort and work in, if nothing changes?  I have to admit I do feel better afterwards and I have more energy. But that can only sustain me for so long, I need to see results and I need to see them now. The weight loss doesn't happen very quickly for me either. Just around the corner is Thanksgiving and Christmas. Lots of baked goods and yummy foods. This year Thanksgiving is at our house and I'm telling you right now I'm not holding back. I may even fill up my plate twice. 
Yesterday at church I took a couple notes, I usually don't but I had invited a friend and she was taking notes so of course I had to. At the very end of the service the pastor put on the big screen "Stop comparing yourself to others". I needed to see that and hear it. I don't compare myself when it comes to "stuff" that other people have but I certainly do when it comes to my body. Once I saw that I realized I do need to stop comparing myself. So many women out there are different shapes and sizes, I should be happy with my own. There isn't anyone out there that is exactly like me.  From now on I'm not going to look at what I don't like but what I do. Because I know if my friend was having any body issues that I'd encourage her and tell her how wonderful she looks. Now I need to start doing the same thing for myself. 

Me + Body pump = pain

I just came home from a body pump class, let me tell you I do not feel unstoppable. I feel like taking a 2 hour nap. I also have to admit today was the first time I skipped the abs and stretch portion of the workout. I really didn't like the teacher today. She sounds like a drill sergeant, she spends the entire workout yelling at us about our form. No one in the class is new so we get it, she always follows up with "well I don't mean to harp so much but I want you guys to get a good workout and not get hurt". This isn't boot camp, stop yelling at me. All of the other teachers are able to teach the class without yelling at us. Also their are no classes today after her class so their is plenty of time to put our equipment away. However in her class she splits up the room and makes us put other people's stuff away. I don't want to do that either! Yes I'm selfish when it comes to this, I brought my equipment out I can put my own stuff away. Did I mention she was wearing a scrunchy? Ugh. I think I'll stick with the teachers I know and I like.

Pearls and Downtown

This morning I had to set an alarm to get up at 7:15 am. I actually had somewhere to go. I dressed up to go downtown and work for a couple hours. I put on my pearls and a flower in my hair. I was so excited to be able to volunteer but also to go downtown. I really did feel fancy. Its been 5 months since I quit my office job, I don't miss it at all. What was cool about today is I could go in when I wanted and leave when I wanted. I haven't worn my work clothes since May, so it felt more like a special occasion. I love downtown, I like people watching and I like being on a high floor so you can see all the buildings around you. I did some basic data entry but it felt good to do it for an organization I can be proud of, The American Transplant Foundation.
I was trying to think what I could compare this day to since I obviously was not excited every day to go to work and dress up. I was thinking its like birthday cake, you only have it on special occasions and not every day. If I had cake every day it would make me sick and I'd weigh an extra 30 lbs. I plan on going back on Monday and I've already picked out my outfit. The building in this picture is where I worked from 2006 to 2009 on the 30th floor. I didn't realize how much I would miss it. You know how sometimes you don't realize what you have until its gone? My parking was paid for, my health care was 100% covered (no premiums), I had a free gym, and the salary was great. The only bad part is they filed for bankruptcy and when they re-emerged they could only offer me a part time job. Plus they were moving the office out of downtown.
Part of me wishes I had a real job downtown again, however I wouldn't be able to walk my son home from school. At least I can volunteer and still get a little taste of the city once in while.....

Skinny Girls

5 months ago this woman had a baby, I officially hate her. How is this possible? It took me 2 years to lose the "baby" weight. I know its supposed to be happy Wednesday, but I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I did boot camp yesterday and every muscle in my body is screaming at me. I thought I'd get on the elliptical this morning but I'm still sitting here in my sweats surfing the internet and reading other mom blogs. I walked my son and the puppy to school, bad idea. It is so incredibly windy I thought all 3 of us would be blown away. The puppy doesn't heel like he does with the pilot which is very frustrating. Then I come home and see this 2.5 million dollar bra on this woman who just had a baby!! Not my morning. I told my friend that it is so frustrating the amount of effort it takes for me to just lose a pound. And that most of the time I'm really ok with my body, until I see some skinny girl. She said we should work on not being jealous. Thats a thought, probably a good one but right now my grumpiness seems to want to sabotage my entire day. Yesterday we went to whole foods for lunch, I thought I'd eat something healthy for lunch. I had a big fat burrito and you know what?? It was awesome, every single bite. I guess it comes down to what I'm willing to sacrifice. I've been working out 5 to 6 times a week. And trust me I'm no where near looking like Miss Victoria Secret model. I need to get off the internet and do something productive.  I need to take a break from feeling bad about my body. "They" say we should focus on the things we like about ourselves, I like my arms they don't jiggle. I like my curly hair, which really isn't part of my body image but I need something positive today. No happy quote today, maybe tomorrow I'll wake up in a better mood. I sure hope so.....

Kids

If you have children this post will totally make sense, if not I'm going to apologize right now. Kids can be cute, cuddly, sweet, crazy, frustrating and just plain gross. Tonight as I'm telling my son to take a shower, I see a small little pebble on the floor. I'm assuming its a rock from his shoe. So I take a closer look after I've picked it up and guess what?? Its poop, YUCK. I immediately throw it in the toilet and wash my hands for 30 minutes. When I ask my son if he pooped his pants and tell him what I've found, his response is "I was looking for that". Really, because you lost it recently and was hoping you'd find it before your mommy or daddy did to hide the evidence. Or, does he have a collection that I don't know about.
When he was younger, picking his nose was an issue. I was determined to be the one parent who could get my child not to do this activity. I also thought that only little boys pick their noses. Well I was wrong, the little girls in his preschool were all doing it too. It is not attractive and I just don't know where to look when I see another kid doing it, I'm not their parent but I really want to tell them to stop.
Their is such a long list of things you do as a parent that you thought you'd never do. Or that you'd be able to stomach. I'll spare you that list but if you are a parent you will totally understand. And if you're not, now you've got lots to look forward to :-).....

Zumba Cheeks

Once or twice a week I go to a Zumba class with a girlfriend of mine. Last night the instructor had very, very, very short shorts on. And when I say short I mean I could see her tiny little butt cheeks out the back of them. If you've ever done Zumba or seen others do it, you'll know there is alot of rump shaking so I saw those little cheeks alot during the class. Its great that she is so tiny but I can guarantee you that she didn't get that body by only doing Zumba. As much as I enjoy the class and have fun laughing at others I can't seem to take it too seriously. I ran 2 miles prior to the class so I'd at least burn more calories. I like workouts like boot camp and body pump, because the next day my entire body usually hurts. And that is when I know I've really gotten a tough workout. 

Every time I go to a Zumba class at this particular gym I see 3 people who I'll call the Zumba show-offs. They add their own little moves and dance with each other. And last night it didn't help their ego when the teacher let them lead with her. My thought is you should let people who are new or don't do Zumba be up front. Not 3 people who could teach the class. 2 of them wear earplugs because the music is so loud, really?? The guy and girl do little cute moves with each other and all I can do is roll my eyes. This is a 24 hour fitness not Dancing with the Stars.  Also its somewhat depressing when I'm looking at the mirrors and thinking "Do these mirrors add 10 lbs?" 

Well, it won't stop me from going again. I'm meeting my friend this Thursday night for the next "party". And the Zumba show-offs will be there with their new moves and earplugs.....

Jobs, Jobs, Jobs

I have a bachelor's degree in business administration with a major in finance. I didn't earn this degree until I was 32 years old. I was tired of employers telling me they could only pay me so much without a degree. After I graduated I thought I'd have open doors to any job I wanted, the reality is you still need experience. I had experience in administrative jobs but not in accounting or finance. Great I thought my degree would open more doors. I will admit though I could ask for a higher salary because of the degree. The pilot has asked me many times what would I love to do for a living? I would love to have a TV show where I go to different cities and find great places to eat at reasonable prices. However in real life I have no idea, I've been content with the jobs I've had because they didn't define me they were just work. But now I have a chance to really think about and discover the answer to that question. I have to admit thinking about it stresses me out.

Every 6 months I decide on a new career path based on what I think I enjoy doing. A year ago it was a personal trainer. I contacted the trainer I had worked with a couple years ago to have her as my mentor through the process. I think the pilot was really excited because his wife was about to become this hot, in shape, hard body. Well, I found out my trainer had moved several hours away and she couldn't meet with me one on one. So I gave up on that career, plus I knew that part of being a personal trainer is being a salesperson and I suck at that, although I've never tried.  Sorry Mr. Pilot, your stuck with this soft body. Next idea, nutritionist. This was based on the purchase of a juicer. I bought a book on how to juice and it had some very interesting information on the foods we digest. Well, like everything I looked on the internet to see how to become one and what type of education I needed. I think it was going to take too long and it seemed too hard. That leads me to today. I met with my son's teacher for a 20 minute conference. When I told her the things we are doing to teach our son to read, she told me I should be a teacher. Plus she has seen me in her class 3 times helping out. I never really thought about being a teacher. Of course my first instinct is to be a teacher's assistant. Yes I believe that would be easier. Once again I will go online and see what it takes to become one. I'm not sure how far I will get but maybe this time I'll make it to an interview.  

I think their are more people out there like me who aren't doing what they really want to but have to work to live. I'm volunteering next week at the American Transplant Foundation, maybe that will be my calling in life. Who knows, right now I really enjoy being a stay at home mom. Today I met with my son's teacher, I visited with my neighbor, I washed my car, I helped the pilot pick up leaves, and I made fancy pumpkin cream cheese muffins to share with my friends and neighbors. Right now this is what I love doing....

My Happy Place

No need to adjust your screen, this is a real picture taken in Maui. I was amazed when we got home from our trip that so many pictures we took looked like post cards. I have a terrible memory so I can't remember what year we went but I believe it was 2003 or 2004. The second day of the trip we decided to go on an adventure, we hiked to find 4 beautiful waterfalls. The book that was guiding us said each waterfall would be more beautiful than the one before it. On this little adventure I stopped to take off my pants (don't get excited, I had my bathing suit on underneath), well I was standing on a slippery surface and I fell in the water and cut the bottom of my foot. What really sucked is it was the second day and I'd plan on being on the beach the rest of the week. My pilot came to my rescue and bandaged me up. We still had to swim to the last waterfall and believe me it was worth it.

When you take a trip to Maui, people tend to ask if you are on your honeymoon. I said yes, even though technically it wasn't. It felt like one, I remember every morning when I woke up there was a single flower on the night stand next to me. Being in a romantic place makes everything so much sweeter because life isn't in the way, you have the time completely to yourselves. When we did go to the beach I couldn't put my feet in the water, so I sat on my towel enjoying the incredible view. I watched the pilot body surf in the water. I had no concern for day or time, I just wanted to enjoy every moment.  As incredible as the trip was though eventually it came to an end. I love the way the pilot makes me feel on vacation. However I also love the moments when we are just hanging out at home watching a movie together and holding hands. I love the mornings when I get out of the shower and their is a cup of coffee waiting for me on the sink. I love when he drives my car and brings it home with a full tank of gas. I love when he lets me sleep in while he gets our son ready for school. I love who we are together.  Vacations are amazing and I do look forward to them. But what means more to me are the every day ordinary things that make me smile. When people say "think of a happy place", well my happy place is him.

Quote for the day:

Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

Franklin P. Jones

What did you say?

Once a month I have the privilege of spending a little over an hour in my son's classroom. Today was my third time, I realized I really enjoy it and I usually end up smiling the entire time. Its true 5 year olds say the craziest things. Today they were discussing what was in their pants. I wasn't sure if I should stop the conversation since it seemed inappropriate at first. But the answers to this question were too funny so I let it go. One little boy said he had a fire in his pants and that he had to get matches for it. Another boy said he had a bomb in his pants, good thing we weren't at the airport. I almost wish I could record these conversations to share with them when they are older. Another kid was asking my son what does p-o-o-p spell and sounding it out for my son. I decided to end that conversation (Even though I was laughing inside.) 

I had to walk my little group of 7 to the library to pick out a book at the book fair, where they would write down a book on a wish list for their parents to buy. An older lady that was helping me asked a little girl in my group what her name was, the girl started to spell it out and the lady's response was "I don't need you to spell it, just tell me". Apparently she was doing this in the interest of saving time but after she wrote the girl's name down she confirmed the spelling. Really did you save that much time by telling the little girl not to spell her name? People are strange. I didn't help her cause since I asked each kid in my group to spell out their name for me. 

I look forward to this hour every month, I get to see what my son is doing in class and I get to meet his friends. The best part today was when I was walking the kids back to their classroom and one of the little girls grabbed my hand. The days like today make me even more sure about the decision I made to stay home...

Jeff Probst

Remember this guy, he was the host of 22 seasons of Survivor. I've never seen the show but I knew of him. Last night I was searching random things on the internet and discovered he now has his own talk show.  I came across one of his shows where an older famous model Paulina Porizkova was going on air without her make up. At first I was thinking this is a ridiculous premise to a show. Really some famous person isn't going to wear make up on TV, who cares. Also the show was on October 2nd. Well on CBS some other morning show called The Talk debut its season in September with all of the hosts not wearing any make up for the entire show. And by the way I went out in public today to the vet's office, Ulta, Home Depot and Einstein's bagel shop with no make up.  I realized though that young women look at celebrities trying to be like them in appearance, so for a famous person to go on TV without makeup and be proud, well maybe it isn't silly after all.  I was ready to make fun of Jeff and his show until I did some research. I looked up what the focus of his show is and here is what I found:

THE JEFF PROBST SHOW’s mission is to entertain and inspire viewers with stories about people living their lives to the fullest and saying “Yes” to life with every opportunity they get.

Darn I wanted to make fun of him but the truth is now that I know what his show is about I think I would enjoy watching it. But what exactly does it mean living our lives to the fullest and saying yes to every opportunity? Now I'm sort of feeling like a slacker. Maybe I won't watch the show, it'll probably just depress me and I'll start saying yes to things I really don't want to do. Or I'll go sign up for sky diving and I'm positive I'd regret it. I did indoor skydiving once and hurt my nose. This is what happens when I do research, next time I'll just stick to making fun of people.....

Costumes

Yesterday we went on a search for a Black Widow costume at all the local halloween costume shops. I'm not sure why but every year when I look for any costume my selection is very much like the picture I've attached. Even when I look online, type women's halloween costumes and this is what you get. I feel like men are the ones mass producing these costumes. I didn't type stripper costumes, I typed women's costumes. We found an Avengers black widow costume that I did try on. Well looks like I'm no longer going to be her for halloween. The pilot thought the costume fit but there was no way I was going in public with the costume on. I quickly decided I had to do something else.
The pilot was in the Navy for 6 years, he left in 1999. Last night he found his dress blues and they still fit! I can assure you nothing I have from 1999 would fit me. We came up with a great companion costume I can wear to match him. I'm very excited and when it gets closer to halloween I will share. I bought my costume on ebay last night and it actually reaches my knees. It obviously was not made for halloween. Last weekend I put a hulk costume on the dog. He may have to join my little Captain America. I'm not usually one of "those" people who dress up their dog but its only for one day. Especially since D-boy is a little disappointed that his mommy won't be part of the Avengers. He is too young to understand this mommy isn't going to wear a skin tight costume any time soon....

Facebook update

Let me be the first to say I'm just as guilty as anyone for posting personal sentiments to my spouse on Facebook.  On our last anniversary I stated it had been 17 years and how wonderful my husband is plus more, but the truth is I can write that in a card. Do all of my friends and family need to know how I feel? This morning I read a very sweet happy anniversary post, but I felt like maybe I was violating that person's privacy, like I had picked up their diary to read the most intimate details of there relationship. When did Facebook replace cards? I know, probably when we all started using it. Trust me I wouldn't know when people's birthdays were, and I happily get online to wish a happy birthday to the next person on the list. I like when its my birthday and I get to read all the sweet happy birthdays to me. However in years to come will I go back and re-read the happy anniversary from my pilot? Probably not, what I will read is the card I received on our 10th anniversary because it was incredible. And it reminds me how lucky I am to have the pilot in my life. I also keep my cards from my birthdays. I know the electronic way is easier but sometimes I just want that card. I want to know that somebody took the time to look through a bunch of cards at the store and found that perfect one that they knew would make me smile or laugh.  When Facebook first came out I was reluctant to join. I'm not saying I dislike it by any means, I get to be in contact with family and friends that I may otherwise never see or talk to. I like that I can share sweet pictures of D-boy and his friends. As well as vacations that we go on and it helps me take more pictures then before. I guess what I'm looking for is a balance. And our next anniversary I think I'll keep it short and simple. However the card I purchase will have how I really feel.
Is there someone in your life that could use a card from you?

Flash and a lonely night

Last night I was missing the pilot and feeling a little lonely so I went to my friend's house. Whats great about going over there is I get to bring the puppy and D-boy has his 2 best friends to play with. Wine or beer is also usually involved (the best part is I can walk to her house). Its inevitable at some point in the evening I'm going to laugh so hard I cry or at least my stomach will hurt. My friend and I were looking at costumes for halloween. She also let me know of a 5k run the weekend before halloween where costumes are encouraged. I've decided to do the run in my Dorothy costume. I promise to post pictures, I won't be running in red ruby slippers but I may just have to get creative. The boys are dressing up as Captain America, Thor, Wolverine, her husband will be silver surfer and the pilot has not yet decided. An X-men or Avengers character. As we were both looking at our phones at costumes, my friend pulled up the picture of Flash and suggested the pilot wear this. And there it was my tears for the evening, I was laughing so hard and I quickly emailed and texted the photo to the pilot. We thought he would need a large because the guy pictured above clearly got the last medium.
I plan on being black widow, I've found a red hair wig but no costume yet. I'm a little scared since I'm positive the costume isn't going to be loose. Have you seen Scarlett Johansson in the Avengers? If not here is a visual - I can assure you I will look nothing like her but once the costume is on I may feel an urge to kick ass and speak russian.

Laughter quote (since laughing makes me happy)

“There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.”
― Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

Man Jobs

If you don't know already when the battery is low on a smoke detector it begins to chirp. This afternoon that horrible chirping started and of course the pilot is out of town. My first instinct is to find the bat and then demolish the culprit. Luckily in this house we don't have too many smoke detectors (wait is that lucky?), anyway I was able to find it quickly and take it down. No bat needed. The pilot has been flying for over 10 years and I love that he gets to do what he loves to do. However the days he is gone it's the man jobs that I'm not so happy to do. Its not that I don't think I can do these things, I just don't want to. Like rolling the garbage can out to the curb, I'll be doing that tonight. Maybe I should tell him he can't fly on Tuesday nights. Mowing the lawn is a man job, again I can do it but no thanks. This year we hired someone to mow the lawn every 2 weeks. Totally worth it. Anything related to the car is a man job. Of course I have my own jobs to do that he has no interest in. I pay all of our bills and balance our checkbook. There are jobs that cross boundaries, like laundry, we both do that and cooking. Well he mostly cooks when he is home. On the menu for this evening for me and D-boy is a pizza from the grocery store deli. We've discussed these before but once the conversation starts I tend to try to end it. Only because I think he would add a lot more to my list of jobs.  I like to pull the "I've been home the last 4 days doing everything" card. That only last about a day, then I feel guilty. He once asked me what I would do without him to do all these jobs, I said I'd find a man or pay a man to do it....

Regrets

In my early 20's I got a tattoo on my ankle. I've spent the last 2 years having treatments to remove it. The treatments are much more painful then the actual tattoo. It feels like a thousand little rubber bands snapping at you all at once. I remember when I originally went in for the tattoo, I thought it would be this awesome experience with the pilot and my friends with me. Nope, they left me to go out to lunch and I had it done by myself. It didn't really have any significance either. Over the years I thought about covering it up but I thought some day I'd be able to afford having it removed. Only took a little over 10 years but now its almost gone. I thought about getting another tattoo on my shoulder after all this and each time I go in for a treatment I'm reminded that I shouldn't.
I don't think I regret the original tattoo, at that time in my life its what I wanted. And luckily for me I can have it removed. This made me think about other things that have happened in my life. I don't think I'd want a picture perfect rosy life, how would I know what it was like to deal with hard times. How could I help people if I hadn't experienced anything bad? I think those difficult times are what makes us who we are and help us relate to others.